In one evening
You’ve inspired me to try harder
And made me feel like giving up
All in one swift punch

Your creative brilliance
And passion to perform
Made me envy your talents
And I am stuck in limbo between
Inspiration and utter defeat

Your shear intensity
Boiled the room
And everyone was sweating
From the heat of your breath

Pounding down our ears
Shattering our emotional brick walls
Bursting the flood gates
And sending gallons of tears
Gushing down our cheeks

It’s not that you’re good, cause you are
It’s that you are perfect

The melodies melodically mingling
With the disaster called distortion
Creating a perfect storm of brutality and harmony

From the deepest torrential scream
To the highest whispery note
I was caught somewhere between reality and la la loo
(la la loo = blinkless stare into oblivion)

As I watch them use you like a drug
Demanding more and more
While never really tasting your delight
I am bitter for you, that they don’t listen

Your words
Like pearls disguised as stones
Worth more than the riff
More than the mosh
More than the tones, from Teppei’s guitar
More than the double kick pounding in my chest
The words worth more than the entire experience itself!

Lost on prideful ears, who only hear the sugar
And totally miss the vitamins

By the final chord I am speechless
I want to run home and write a billion songs
Hoping that one might be as good as yours

My envy burns deep
I’ve always wanted to be that good
I’m determined I will try
Put everything I am into trying

But just when my motivation is moving towards miracles
It melts

Perhaps visions of touching the sun
Have illuminated the truth

I will never be as good as you

And from fire to ice
I am left cold
Never wanting to dream again
Never wanting to pick up the guitar and write another stupid song
Because I can never be you
And that should be ok
But it’s not

Regret, how strange thou art
You are like a constantly stinging rash
Worse with each remembrance
You can tear people to shreds

Yet if I am perceptive
I see how vital the actions behind the regret are
In making up the fabric of my current being
So much so, that regret turns to wisdom
And how can you regret gaining wisdom
And so regret melts, like ice illuminated
The warmth of wisdom’s light
smothers the flames of regret
And from the ash sprouts life, new life

So should we regret?
Can we honestly say we want to change what has happened?
Chaos theory tells us - it is impossible to say things could be better had that not happened…
So why do we regret?
Why do we convince ourselves things might actually be better if… that didn’t happen?

To let go of regret, is to realize the reality of recursion
That falling leads to getting up
That each fine detail is detailed in our present form
And to erase the smallest mistake, is to fracture the masterpeice that is you, that is me
The never ending peice of art that is being molded by our regret… our shame… our guilt.

Can you feel it?