Christmas

Confession: I haven’t thought about Christmas at all since advent started (Dec. 1)

The truth is, now that I don’t work in a church, and don’t have to think of Christmas, I haven’t.  I guess that is pretty sad… I mean, I feel bad about it.

But I guess this year it just hasn’t been something that I feel the need to really think about.  I feel like that guy whom every church preaches to – who get’s caught up in all the hoop-la that he forgets the REAL meaning of Christmas.  Well I would probably agree except I’m not really into the “hoop-la”

I don’t go shopping
In fact I try and avoid the malls and shops all together if I can.  Gifts?  Amazon.com

I’m not into decorations
Robin and I put up minimal decorations this year.  No house to deck with lights.  No big tree to adorn with all the fancies.  Just a few strands of colorful bulbs strung across our living room, some Christmas cards on the wall, and a few nick-nacks here and there.

We don’t “play Santa”
Although I know Robin is into the whole Santa thing for Amalea, and thus I have to be, I really don’t care.  I’m not trying to be apathetic or no fun… but come on, talk about the source of materialistic powder-fluff ying yang potty stupidness in the whole world.  People just want to feel nostalgia – and I guess there is nothing wrong with that… but what a waste of energy.  Eventually you learn he was made up by your parents, and then you spend the rest of your adult life trying to conjure up the Christmas feeling you got when you were a kid – to no avail.

We have very little traditions
Which actually makes me sad.  We learned very early in our marriage that we should have traditions… that we should continue some family traditions and start new ones.  Well… we make waffles and bacon on Christmas morning – that’s about it.  I mean… perhaps it just has not been long enough to call the things we do traditions, and eventually it will feel like it.  For instance, we’ll probably go to church on Christmas eve – because we always have.  To me, not really tradition.  But to our kids one day… it will probably seem that way.

So… not really being tied up with all the “extras” of Christmas – what is my excuse for not thinking about it?

I don’t know.

Every year I feel like Christmas day comes faster and faster, and the “season” gets shorter and shorter.

And Jesus?  Well… I’m trying to find that special “reason for the season” feeling my mom was always in to – but the Christmas story, to me, although it is important – is not so important that you have to make Christmas the one day a year you go to church.  And not so important that you have to continue writing really bad songs about Jesus’ birth, or stories, or plays for that matter.  The birth of a savior – someone who would rescue us from our selfish existences – is important, very.  But I don’t know… the story of the virgin Mary and the angels and the wise men and the shepherds and all that… well – I’m trying.  I’m trying not to be cynical of it all… don’t get me wrong, I love Jesus.  He’s my hero, and for those who understand, my God.  But i’m really sick of the Christmas story.  Perhaps, like the Christmas story itself, God will show up somewhere unexpected for me this Christmas, and remind me how much I need him, and others… and less of myself.

Merry Christmas everyone… ^_^