This last weekend the girls and I took a trip down south-east to Bend, Oregon, to visit some friends. Bend is a mid-sized, artsy, touristy town, smack in the middle of Oregon. There’s a really awesome river that runs through it, they might have the best food in all of Oregon, and some of the most original, inspiring art originates there. Not to mention the people seem really genuine and laid back.
We almost moved to Bend. I mean, in wanting to move to Oregon, Bend was the only place where we had friends who already lived there. When we visited Oregon the summer before we moved, Bend was the town we had spent the most time in. We liked Bend, it felt like paradise. It was small, quaint, hip and full of great art and food. It seemed to be attracting all sorts of cool people from the college Robin and I went to. It really did feel like a great place to live…
So why did we end up in Portland?
It’s a good question. I think there are a few reasons, but before I get into those, let me just say this: I am trying really hard not to be negative for the sake of being negative. I’m trying very hard to really understand why I feel Portland is a better choice for me, and in no way am I making a judgment on Bend in general and in regards to any of my friends that live there. With that said, on with the reasons:
- It’s too safe
Obviously we all want to be safe. Nobody wants to live in a war-zone. Nobody wants car-bombs going off down the street, or gang fights happening at the local mall, or child molestors living in your neighborhood. We want security, comfort, safety. We want to be able to walk down the street in the middle of the night and not fear for our lives. And this desire for safety only intensifies as you get older, especially if you have kids. I have nightmares about something bad happening to my girls. I’m super paranoid, just ask Robin. I always think the worst will happen. And yet, there is something inside of me that feels like “safety” is an illusion (thank you Thrice for that). It just doesn’t feel right to build huge walls and live in gated communities to keep the “bad” guys out. It doesn’t seem like a good thing to seclude yourself with people who are just like you and make you feel safe. Obviously there is a whole expose I could write on why I think this… but for now let me just say this, in deciding to move somewhere, I didn’t want to go somewhere safe. At least, “safe” as most people might see safe… suburbs, gated communities, no crime, leave your doors unlocked – safe. Millions of people in the world are forced (without a choice) to live in horrible conditions. It is part of where we have come as a society, as a race. Our advancement in technology and culture and such has created large gaps between the richest and the poorest, and what results is brokenness, greed, corruption, hatred, violence and crime. For the most part, larger cities have more crime because they have more people in a smaller space who are all trying to “make it” – and make it large. It’s not a pretty system, but it’s the system we find ourselves in, and rather than run away from it, I felt like I needed to be a part of it – in so much as understanding it, seeing it first hand and feeling the pain, the fear, the distrust – and somehow trying to rise above this and find a way out of all this to.. well… blossom from the ashes. - It’s too rural and removed
Back to bend, and why we didn’t move there. We wanted to be in a city… a bigger city but not a New-York/Chicago/Los Angeles – major city. Portland was perfect because it was a big/small city. It was also conviently located near rivers, mountains, the coast, seattle, etc. Lot’s of things. It felt more connected to the world… an international airport, an Ikea ( ^_^ ), a light-rail system, etc. - It would have been too easy
One of the main reasons, for better or for worse, was that we knew people in Bend. To some this may seem a good reason TO pick a place. But for me, it’s not what I wanted (and safe to say, needed). I needed to go somewhere COMPLETELY brand new. No familiar faces, no immediate comfort zones or bubbles, no help. I needed to establish myself, learn how to make friends, start conversations and build my confidence in myself. The only way to do this, I felt, was to move somewhere completely new, where we didn’t know anyone. And, almost two years in, I would say, it’s worked. I feel light years ahead of where I was at, confidence-wise, when we moved up here. I do not feel scared or anxious having conversations with new people. I feel like I am living my life, and not a life where I am following in shadows of people I think are “cooler” than myself. I feel like Portland is MY town, and not a town I moved to because so-and-so said it was cool to live here (that doesn’t mean YOU (if you’re reading this) shouldn’t move here because I tell you you should! ^_~)… it’s a town Robin and I got to know on our own, we’re carving our path here and that feels so great.
So why write this post?
Well, I think I just needed to hash out these feelings. If anyone reads this and it annoys them, sorry – I’m sure half the things I feel and think throughout my life are annoying to many people. This blog is 50% me getting things out, and 50% putting them out publicly because I care what people think of my opinions and feelings.
Bend, you are a great town and you are leading the way for sustainable living (sort of)… but you are not my town, and that’s ok. Friends in Bend, I love you. Seriously, I need you… coming out there helps me breathe.
Portland, this is the land I have sunk my feet into and will continue to establish myself here, learning the ways of the rainy-city. I’m excited for the next year here… to see what new things I learn, new people I meet, and new experiences my family has.
