“I’ll be done with this post since I’m getting tired and my thoughts are not as clear and crisp as they could be. But in my next post, in the future sometime, I want to touch on how my beliefs have changed in the last 5 years, who has changed my mind on certain things, and where I find hope now. That last part, the hope part, is so important. Because I get that there are a lot of disenchanted Christian church people out there who might relate with some of this stuff – but still love Jesus and want to find something to believe in. I know. Me too. And I think I’m coming out of the dark cloud pillar… but only to realize I’m wondering in a wilderness for the rest of my life. (I love the Exodus story for Moses and all that if you haven’t picked up on that yet… brilliant writing. Seriously. Brilliant.)”
Me – Exodus Part 2
A little something for you to listen to while you read the rest of this post. ^_^
Leaving “The Ministry”
Sometimes I stare off and wonder where the hell I’ve been the last 4 years. I mean after leaving my job in the church as a Youth Pastor in Thousand Oaks. I wonder if it’s been worth it, or if I made some grand mistake. It’s not that I am not happy with where I am today, but it is easy to look back and wonder “what if”. For those who know anything about chaos theory, there are an infinite number of results to every decision made every single day. What if I went left instead of right? What if I went 65mph instead of 45mph that one day? A good example: just today there was a shooting at the Clackamas Mall (less than 10 miles from our house in Portland) and I can’t help but wonder… what if we were still there? What if we never left? Only God knows if we would have been there today… Ok, I encourage you to stop thinking about chaos theory if I got you started – it never leads to anything productive. But it is definitely interesting to wonder…
And for this particular post, I am interested in where I have come spiritually over the last 4 years as a result of leaving the church (and friends) behind and moving on to other things.