Why?

Because I was writing in my physical journal last night, and I realized that I have dried up.  I used to write all the time… lyrics, poems, music.  But now I feel like I try and nothing comes out… so I’m going to force myself.  Feel free to read… some might actually be good.  No promises though.

POEM #1

I remember that day like it was the only day I ever lived
Just another box on the calendar, just another dot on the line
Yet some days define the direction of the line
Looking back, this day did just that

Having nearly closed my eyes one last time, I was given hope
A kind man I did not know, shoved hope into my chest
And with a few shallow breaths, hope began to breathe again
I was given the gift to go on

How could I have known the seeds that were planted that day?
The life that would blossom from the ashes
The man who would emerge from the dust
The women who altered my pride, who entered as wife
And helped create life – how could I have known?

All I could know that day was how beautiful the sky looked
How clear the air was
How sharp the sounds were
How bright and warm the sun was
How desperate I was to go on

All was new again.

And yet, here we are… nearly six Augusts later
And yet, here I am… feeling exausted and bored
Having forgotten the hope that was shoved in my chest
Having lost the lessons I learned that day
Trying to remember… trying to hold on, to move on again

Sometimes it takes a tragedy, sometimes it takes a fall
This time it took a movie
To realize I’m still alive, I’m still alive after all.